Bored Out of My Gourd!

It's Friday night and I am incredibly bored. Which is sad. So, I've been surfing for the past.... eh... few hours, and I'm still really bored. I'm so bored that I looked up what a "gourd" was and it's a dried fruit nut. Go figure.

Idle hands really are the devil's playground. I've been searching the net so much this evening I was almost tempted to click on one of those psychic links. Not because I even remotely believe in that, but I'd be amused to see what it says. I resisted that urge. I can think of a million things I could be doing right now. I could be practicing my guitar that has a layer of dust on it. I could be putting together this puzzle that my husband and I bought to have a hobby at home but have only touched once. But, alas, I sit here channel-surfing and web-surfing. LAME!

I could be praying. Which is probably why I feel so restless and nothing is gratifying. I have the dry feeling that you get when you haven't had a glass of water all day and then all of the sudden you realize that you're incredibly thirsty. Why do we push off spending that intimate time with God? Why do we push off the things we need, no matter how much it calls out to us? It's the same vicious cycle. I spend time with God - I feel better - God-time decreases - I feel restless and unsure and wonder why - I realize that it's been awhile since I spent some quality prayer, worship and bible time - I spend time with God... and the cycle begins again.

I am so much more content with myself and the world around me when I do the things I need to do. Drink more water, exercise, eat well , take my vitamins, eat more fiber... (too much information??), spend more time with my Creator. And I avoid these things cause... I'm not sure I have the answer to that. (Well, I know why I don't exercise - cause exertion really goes against my desire to sit.) I could say laziness but I don't think it's that (other than the exercise thing). Lack of discipline, maybe. Lack of motivation, definitely. The only thing that cures motivation is doing something, but how do you find the motivation to cure your motivation?

Well, at least for tonight, I've motivated myself enough to go seek the Lord in prayer, study the Word (not just get my daily bible reading in) and "get my praise on" (as my hubby would say). And it will be a win-win for me cause I can do it while sitting.

Derek, Derek, Derek... we could all use more of Derek!

Paul and I got this awesome gift from his boss of a picture frame to capture each month of our child's first year. His full name is printed across the top. So, every month on the 1st, we take a bunch of pics of him. We choose one to add to the collage. This month's pics were awesome! Here's what I mean....

Awesome

More of the awesomeness
The most awesome-est of all

But, we chose this one. For the sake of our son not hating us for choosing incredibly goofy pics of him and showing them off on the wall to all of his friends and future girlfriends. But, let's be honest, the awesome-osity that our son exudes can be seen in this pic as well.

A New Way of Voting

With the candidates and the state of politics the way it is, I think I've found my new way of voting. This is also reason #234 why I love Stephen Colbert. Oh and Disclaimer: this is in no way an endorsement of any party or candidate. Please be my friend.

How Sweet the Sound

In mid-September, Paul and I went to meet with our doula (birthing coach). When we got there, we were introduced to this lady named Joan (pronounced jo-ann). An elderly lady, she was once a member of our church but had since moved into her dream house in a small mountain town. She had recently been hospitalized and was having to stay in the city due to health reasons, but she was antsy to get back to her home. She was hoping to head back within the next day or two.

We had a delightful conversation. This was our first time meeting, but she had remembered me from singing at the church, which was so sweet. I played Mary in a Christmas play and she mentioned that. We talked about being pregnant and the differences between giving birth today and giving birth when she had children. No drugs whatsoever. All natural. I told her that I was thankful for my option for the drugs. We just had a pretty instant connection. As I chatted with her, Diane (our doula) and Paul waited for me to finish my conversation so we could begin talking about our birthing process.

When we left, I went to her room to say goodbye. She was looking out the window very longingly and you could sense her desire to be somewhere else. Though she loved the family that she was staying with, it wasn't her home and that was where she wanted to be. On September 30th, I was entering the hospital to deliver my son and she was entering the hospital because she had taken a turn for the worse. Today, I sang at her memorial service.

'Honored' is not a strong enough word to describe how I felt when I received the call on Friday and told that she specifically asked for me to sing at her service. But 'honored' is the best that the English language has given me. It got me to thinking about how much we affect the people we come into contact with everyday, be it positively or negatively. I'm sure I've impacted people negatively, but today I was shown that I had made an impact in such a positive manner that I was thought of in this woman's preparations for her final celebration on this earth.

I sat in her memorial service and watched the people she had touched. She led a beautiful life and you could see it in the tears that were shed for their loss. Her family put together a slideshow of her life, beginning at 4 months of age to her last year. She was in her 70's and had led a very rich and full life. It was also a life devoted to Christ. She touched my heart on that morning in September and she inspired me today.

I want to live a life of impact. Where the love of Christ can be evident in the way I live, both here and now and after I go home to be with the Lord. Not for my sake or my own name, but for His.

I'm Sorry, Could You Please Repeat That?

Things My Husband Should Make For You, But Probably Never Will

Unless you are a friend and we have you over for dinner. Which we do quite often, so it really does pay to be my friend. I'm okay with being used for my husband's cooking. I just want to win the popularity contest.

So, tonight, my good ol' hubby is making his amazing Chicken Cordon Bleu. He's not making it for me, he's making it for a friend (see, it pays to be his friend, too). My husband is a pretty amazing cook. He's always been a better cook than me. He's better than me at most things except for music. Music's mine and he can't have it.

Anyway, it reminded me of a story I thought I'd share. When we first got married, all I really knew how to cook was spaghetti. And not the Ragu stuff. Granted, I don't make it from fresh tomatoes, but the ability season tomato sauce is a skill. It really is, so say I. Well, in our first week of marriage, I decided to venture and make him Tator Tot Hotdish. So, I make this dish and it was AWFUL! It wasn't a casserole, it was some sort of milky soupy thing with veggies, bland meat and soggy tator tots, with cheese on top. I cried and he ate, declaring it's goodness. He even ate a second helping and took some for work the next day. Although I knew that he was suffering by eating this crap on a plate, I thought, "Oh, how romantic. He eats my food even when it's bad." (Later on down the road in our marriage I realized that my husband is a "waste-not, want-not" kind of guy. He'll eat anything as horrific as it may be as long we're not wasting the meat that cost us money.)

While I was struggling to make a simple casserole, he's making shrimp scampi, chicken cordon bleu, stuffed peppers, homemade french fries and the list just goes on and on. There's nothing this man can't cook. He honestly makes the best turkey at Thanksgiving.

Tonight, he's making on of my favorite meals and I'll come home from work for chicken, garlic mashed potatoes and sauteed green beans w/ a salad. And food is so exciting to me, I thought I'd blog about it.

**Update: Dinner was awesome.

The Perfect Evening

I got home today and Derek was napping. I had to wait a good two hours before he woke up. He was in my arms from the moment he got up until I put him down for the night. We danced to worship music in his room. To a song where the chorus states, "Nothing compares to what You've done for me..." It was the perfect lyric to a perfect moment.
My life has changed so much. I've lived two completely different lives. When I moved back to Colorado, I was heartbroken and devastated because the direction my life had taken. I did all I knew to do to deal with what I was feeling, which was to not feel it. I drank alot, I smoked a lot of pot. Could've done more drugs, should've done less. But, I hit my bottom. That was as low as I was willing to go. And I turned my face back to the Lord saying, "Nothing I've done has gained me a thing. I guess I'm willing to try it Your way now. I haven't much left to lose and I don't want to lose what's left."
Here it is, 7 years later, and I know what it is to be a new creation in Christ. I look around at my life and I'm amazed. I have more than I ever wanted and so much more than I thought I deserved. And as I was dancing with my son, I felt my worship to the Lord inside the love that I felt for Derek. This is part of my treasure. If I hadn't done all these things to lead me back to this path, I wouldn't have been singing on stage the day Paul walked into the church. I wouldn't have married this incredible man to eventually lead us to create together an amazing child.
And what's even more incredible, I'm closer to getting a glimpse of the love that God has for me as His child in the love that I feel for my child.
All of these incredible miracles all around us that God uses to share with us His amazing love. Some people see it in nature. Some people hear it in music. Today, I see it in my son.

Things I Will Not Buy For My Child

I saw this on another blogger's page and I thought it was amazing.

History in the Making

Disclaimer: The following post is in no way a stance on the writer's political view. This is not an endorsement of any particular candidate. She neither confirms or denies her affiliation with either party. This post is meant to be solely a commentary on recent events in the news. The writer is purposely ambiguous regarding her political views as she is a people-pleaser and would not like to make anyone dislike her on either side of the spectrum. In fact, if you want to criticize her for anything, criticize her for the fact that she refuses to take on any political discussion other than the occasional lecture at her husband who has to love her because he promised to. She'll also talk to people that appear to have the same politics as her, but still very tentatively. She doesn't want to be unpopular. She wants to be your friend. Please be her friend.

We could very well see our first African American president.

Happy New Year (sniff, cough, wheeze...)

I woke up this morning with a sore throat and I've been laying in our spare bed watching tv all day. What a way to start the new year. Good thing TNT has been having an all day Law & Order marathon. So, even when I drift off to sleep, I have Law & Order-induced dreams. Ahhh, sweet dreams of murders and courtrooms. You know, I've decided that people who invest so much time into watching this show should really be given an honorary law degree. Incidentally, I feel the same way about ER and being a doctor. In the very least, I could be a online tv personality giving my opinion on important court cases. I could also be an expert witness or some sort of forensic detective. I'm really willing to take my vast knowledge of tv law and medicine in any direction. I'm flexible. I'll be awaiting job offers. While I wait, I'll continue my law education this evening laying on this bed (sniff, sniff, cough, sneeze, wheeze....)

Other decisions I've made today, Detective Lenny Briscoe (played by the late great Jerry Orbach - also known as the dad who put Baby in the corner) is one of the greatest tv characters of all time.

Hey, there's another job - I could also use my vast knowledge of tv pop culture (otherwise known as useless knowledge) to do.... just about anything really. Game show host, trivia card writer, tv host on Entertainment Tonight. Again, awaiting offers.

And finally, here's a pic of all you Derek-fans. Happy 3-month birthday, mi querido.