I got home today and Derek was napping. I had to wait a good two hours before he woke up. He was in my arms from the moment he got up until I put him down for the night. We danced to worship music in his room. To a song where the chorus states, "Nothing compares to what You've done for me..." It was the perfect lyric to a perfect moment.
My life has changed so much. I've lived two completely different lives. When I moved back to Colorado, I was heartbroken and devastated because the direction my life had taken. I did all I knew to do to deal with what I was feeling, which was to not feel it. I drank alot, I smoked a lot of pot. Could've done more drugs, should've done less. But, I hit my bottom. That was as low as I was willing to go. And I turned my face back to the Lord saying, "Nothing I've done has gained me a thing. I guess I'm willing to try it Your way now. I haven't much left to lose and I don't want to lose what's left."
Here it is, 7 years later, and I know what it is to be a new creation in Christ. I look around at my life and I'm amazed. I have more than I ever wanted and so much more than I thought I deserved. And as I was dancing with my son, I felt my worship to the Lord inside the love that I felt for Derek. This is part of my treasure. If I hadn't done all these things to lead me back to this path, I wouldn't have been singing on stage the day Paul walked into the church. I wouldn't have married this incredible man to eventually lead us to create together an amazing child.
And what's even more incredible, I'm closer to getting a glimpse of the love that God has for me as His child in the love that I feel for my child.
All of these incredible miracles all around us that God uses to share with us His amazing love. Some people see it in nature. Some people hear it in music. Today, I see it in my son.