Thursday, May 8, 2008

Okay, I've Finally Done It

I've moved to wordpress. You must blogroll me immediately.

Do it now.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Stirring Up

I'm cleaning my kitchen and playing a worship cd that is really speaking to me as of late. These songs have been speaking to me in this place of adjusting to my ever-changing life. All week I have been really seeking to answer the question, "Who am I now that I am a Mom? Who am I in the midst of post-partum depression?" As soon as I asked God that question and really sought Him to answer it, His answers are becoming clearer with each passing day. With every change in my life, with every doubt I have of myself, every insecurity, there is one thing I can be sure of... I am His. And there is great comfort in that. A very true and real peace that surpasses all of my understanding. More than that, an understanding of His grace being absolutely sufficient for me and feeling His strength encompassing me in my weaknesses. I don't have to be whole, because He is.

I am encouraged, I am stirred up, I am alive and full of joy - in Christ.

"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
Will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
They say, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
My God, in whom I trust" Psalm 91:1-2

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Still Standing

walking,stumbling on these shadowfeet
toward home,a land that i've never seen
i am changing: less and less asleep
made of different stuff than when i began
and i have sensed it all along
fast approaching is the day

when the world has fallen out from under me
i'll be found in you, still standing
when the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
when time and space are through
i'll be found in you

theres distraction buzzing in my head
saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
but I've heard rumours of true reality
whispers of a well-lit way

you make all things new

when the world has fallen out from under me
i'll be found in you, still standing
every fear and accusation under my feet
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Will the Real Teresa Please Stand Up

So, I have begun my path on the road to recovery. To claw myself out of the depths of post-partum depression back to (hopefully) feeling like myself again. And as I say and think those words, I wonder, "What does that even mean?" The last time I remember feeling like myself was when I had no human being to rely on me to do that little task of sustaining their life. (I hope you're sensing the tone, cause there is one).

Who will emerge when the dust of hormones settle? What are the parts of me that I will choose to leave behind because they no longer fit as my new role as "mommy"? What will I keep? What will I hold onto, refusing to let go, kicking and screaming as God continues to refine me? And why does this refining process have to be so freaking painful?!?! Why can't refining be a comforting process that feels like getting a foot massage? Or as satisfying as eating toaster strudel? (which I'm officially off of, btw).

I knew that becoming a mom wouldn't be a walk in a field of daisies along calm streams and toaster strudel waiting for me at the end of the path (*sigh*), but I didn't expect the identity crisis.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

More of Derek

Why? Cuz he's that awesome! I've accepted my role as a mommy blogger.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Wordless Wednesdays

I just really want to show off my husband's awesomeness...

Penn State Nittany Lion pride

Showing off his manliness!

Just stinking AWESOME!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

The Two Biggest Blessings of My Life

Paul and I were married for 4 years before Derek came along. And I just couldn't imagine life getting any better. How could it??? My husband was the man of my dreams. Dreams I didn't even know I had until God showed me what dreams really were. He far exceeded my expectations in what I thought I would ever find, want or deserve in a spouse. Then came my son. And God just keeps exceeding my expectations, one right after another.